Newness

Hi!

I’m checking in from my new home in the mountains of North Carolina—it’s my birth state and a location that has been in my field for some time now. Yet until last week, the invitation wasn’t there and the timing had not aligned.

These moving parts are all so specific! 

After years of waiting, trying and meeting dead ends...

Within a span of one week, a well-loved AWD Subaru and a beautiful, affordable A-frame cabin on a friend’s land fell into place. They both came through bonds of affection and deeply honest, integrous exchanges. 

These past 3.5 years since leaving South Africa have been filled with intense release, exponential growth, international exploration and valuable family reconnection, but my nervous system was screaming for space, stability and roots in nature. Not to be dramatic, but I was falling apart at the seams and needed to find a hole ASAP to crawl into and rebirth myself.  

I can’t express how humbled, awed and grateful I am for the way Life provided a single, clear path to follow into a new chapter.

I had no idea how these things were going to come about as I was completely energetically and physically depleted, and there wasn’t a large reserve of cash for me to buy my way out. Perhaps it’s evident that I don’t live a conventional life complete with steady income, a credible employer and traditional financing opportunities, so I knew that an organic pathway had to emerge from the Mystery itself.

And there’s no efforting that into existence!

As you may know, the more we follow our inner knowing and live the life that’s truly aligned with the call of our heart, the more off-the beaten path we get, which can exclude us from certain pathways of having our needs met.

We often find ourselves without the margin, excess and numerous options others experience and mistake for security.

Our road becomes uncomfortably narrow. Our steps demand razor-sharp precision. The pressure can feel overwhelming. But nature provides what is truly needed. Life meets us with what is best in the correct timing.

That Loving Presence which innervates existence can be trusted! 

Perseverance, patience, pushing our roots down so fucking deep into the ground that we develop new levels of resilience and higher quotients of embodied Love is the only path forward. Doing so opens us up to a whole new realm of possibility, experience, nourishment, and flourishing.

This is Abundant Beingness. Not some “manifest whatever your ego wants” bullshit.

So take heart if you find yourself extremely uncomfortable in the Unknown. You are not alone. Your unraveling is sacred. Your tenacity is beautiful.

When it’s time for change, it’s time, and a pathway will open up. No need to make reactive decisions—move with this current when it moves you.

If you’re open, available and in your lane, you won’t be able to miss it!

~

Oh yes, I shaved my head two weeks ago amidst the perfect storm of existential exhaustion, collective grief, physical pain, family dynamics and an upwelling of trauma and completion that refused to be quelled. My family took it as a cry for help (I’m from the deep south y’all), but really it was a move of alignment and a signal for newness.

I had been losing significant amounts of hair, and so many identities were ready to shed. It felt congruent to have my outward appearance mirror the nakedness I felt inside.

Baldness feels honest; release feels liberating; I no longer care to hide my rawness, and there is absolutely no energy for posturing. 

The infrastructure of my being is under construction—the kind of renovation that strips you down to the nuts and bolts and lays a foundation for something much better, more coherent and in harmony with the Whole.

I’m embracing the warmth of beanies and the ultimate low-maintenance hairdo! 

Hugs to everyone else who feels like a pure Love train-wreck. These times are intense and staying present and in your body is a tremendous act of devotion and service—just keep going.